My job makes me nauseated

Literally, my job makes me nauseated. It makes me feel like my stomach is doing somersaults. It makes me contemplate whether or not I should stick my foot out in front of a CTA bus with the hopes that maybe, just maybe, the 5 tons of automobile will actually run over and effectively crush my dainty little foot and I can then miss a painful (but oh-so-blissful) legitimate week of work.

Seriously. Seventy-five percent of the time I give my boss the copy I've written and you can actually see her eyes roll into the back of her skull. She handles the paper as though it is covered in oozing herpes and is, even worse, CONTAGIOUS! The other 25% of the time I find out that whatever project I spent ALL WEEK working on is being scrapped and was a total waste of my time and their resources.

If I had to work here everyday for the rest of my life I would have to be medicated. I would need a Xanax-red wine cocktail just to make myself want to continue breathing. And I would have to be kept away from anything that has the potential to be used a weapon. I might also have to go to work in a straight jacket.

And, while I know the above may be the reality for many a-desperate housewife - it is not the existence I wish to have.

So, what else could I do?

Some ideas:

With my "nearly" master's degree, I could.....

1. Become a high-end hooker for the next up-and-coming "Client 9"
2. Become a nun
3. Sell drugs out of a shoe box off the 95 stop on the Red Line
4. Decide to become indigent and live off the state for the rest of my life
5. Become a professional con-artist and pull off the greatest international bank heist of all time and spend the rest of my life
eluding Interpol

With so many great options out there, it's hard to choose. I think I'll have to go with number 5 though. How very James-Bondian.

Until then, I'll just continue to send out my resume and will just have to wait until someone realizes how perfect I would be at pulling Catwoman-like moves and hires me for that international bank heist.

New Blog!

I have started a new blog. I used to blog a lot and was a much happier human being when I was writing. I stopped writing when I became a drone in the corporate world which has, thus far, sucked all the creativity, life, fun, etc., from my soul. This blog is an attempt to resurrect the happier Rachel that everyone used to know and love.

So, ta-da! Here it is. Cheers to a new beginnging.